If Microsoft made movies
* You wouldn’t be able to eat popcorn, drink a coke and watch the movie
at the same time.
* If the popper was popping corn, and they were selling a candy bar, the
movie would pause.
* They would announce that the next versions of the movie would enable
colour blind people to watch in colour, and the deaf to hear it.
* The film would break every 15 minutes and in the most important parts.
* They would announce new breakthroughs in movie technology - colour and
sound - forgetting that most other movies have had these for years.
* Every new movie would require a new projector.
* The projector would claim to take 32mm in film size, but in reality it
would only show 16mm magnified to make it look like 32mm.
* They would claim to have invented comedies.
* Every movie would look pretty, but actually have mishmash holding it
together, and contain no plot. Ooops! Sorry, that’s from the “What if
Hollywood Made Movies” list.
* They would promise you an action/adventure flick starring Arnold
Schwarzenegger and Sandra Bullock, but it would be 3 years late and end
up being a sappy love story with Jim Carey and Madonna.
* Their projectors must have reset buttons, requiring you to start the
movie over and over to have any hope of seeing the entire film.
* “640 seconds? Whose gonna watch a movie longer than that??”
October 20th, 2007 at 5:06 am
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